[Lailah seemed to get a feel for it pretty quickly, so Alisha didn't think it actually took much concentration to see... But she's smart enough to not actually say that out loud.]
Nothing, most likely. As I said, improving it was merely a personal wish of mine. Whether it changes anything or not, if it has improved even a little, I would be happy. [She's not even expecting it to be a big enough change that she could serve as Squire again, let alone anything more than that. If it's improved at all, she's already satisfied.]
Really? That's shockingly selfish and conceited coming from you, Alisha. You could've made any request in this case, and you ask for something that you're not going to do anything with, other than make yourself feel better? Truly, humans are always full of petty whims.
[Edna THERE'S REALLY NO NEED TO GRILL THE POOR GIRL AT MAXIMUM HEAT]
Normally Alisha would fold like a house of cards because > TALKING TO A SERAPH, but if her time with ALASTAIR has given her anything, it's the sort of clarity that comes from distance from something. And after everything she just put up with from home, from the council verbally attacking her to knights physically attacking her to Maltran trying to kill her, that distance is something she's needed.
And it makes her realize something.]
I am fully aware that it is a personal, selfish wish of mine. I admit that this was a desire that came from my own conceit, and I would never pretend otherwise. I am also fully aware that I am human, and I always will be no matter what I do. So just this once, I wanted to do something selfish, for my own sake, like any other normal human.
Is that so wrong, to want something for myself? [She's running herself ragged for Hyland, and that's never gonna stop anytime soon, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have dreams and wishes outside of what she wants for her country. At the end of the day, Alisha's still just one person.]
No. Humans are fragile, and their lifespan is short. It's only natural that greed and ambition so easily overtake them, how even the most pious and magnanimous may quickly fall from grace and become a hellion. There's a logical progression behind it, the reason why saints are also martyrs.
[Propping open her umbrella, she begins to idly spin it over her shoulder.]
It's just interesting and telling, that you chose to focus on your Resonance when you could've asked for anything else. There's nothing inherently selfish about one's level of Resonance, after all. Actually, if anything...
[Honestly she's not sure if there really was something else she could've asked for... She doesn't feel like she understands the mechanics or tech of things here well enough to ask for something that could help everyone here, and it's not like she'd ask for help regarding things back home. That's something she'd take care of with her own two hands come hell or high water.
Despite her flare of anger though, she does listen to Edna seriously. Especially after Maltran, it's always on her mind, how people can fall so easily. The last thing she wants is to cause a problem like that for the others.]
Hm? Did you not give more thought to your own wish? Like if your Resonance remained low, then as you've said, it would change nothing for you. But if it truly became strong, and especially with Sorey here now too, would you not seek to reactivate the Squire's Pact?
[She tilts her head, watching Alisha intently despite her usual nonchalant airs.]
[It honestly hadn't really crossed her mind since she had no idea just how much ALASTAIR could increase something like resonance. Then again, given they could send people across worlds, it probably shouldn't have seemed that impossible. It's easy to see in her expression how she starts to seriously consider it, from pondering to practically lighting up.]
You— You really think I could? Reactivate the pact? Has it strengthened that much? [Maybe she's jumping to conclusions, but Edna wouldn't suggest it if it wasn't possible, right?] I don't want to cause problems for him again though, whether that's blindness or making his vision blurry.
[Yes, this was a selfish wish of hers, but it's easy to see that she's far more delighted by the possibility of being able to help Sorey again.]
...Seriously? Truly foolish and shortsighted, to not have considered both extremities of potential results to your own desires. [A beat.] I guess you can't exactly be blamed though, given your situation. [tfw she's basically saying Alisha gets her dreams crushed so often, it's not really unusual to see her not daring to hope for more... WHICH IS KINDA TERRIBLE, JUST A LITTLE]
Why don't you ask him yourself? We all know he wouldn't say no, regardless of what it may do to his own body. Don't worry though, I'll squeeze the truth out of him myself if he tries to downplay or lie about it again. Oh, but this does bring us back to square one.
[The twirling stops.]
You're just going to be helping people with him all over again if the Pact goes through and does it well, aren't you?
[Man look Edna, she's not like you where she had one dream slowly but surely crushed over a long period of time. She's had WHO KNOWS HOW MANY dreams all crushed in succession for probably HER WHOLE LIFE. OF COURSE IT'S HARD TO HOPE FOR MORE THAN SCRAPS!!]
Most likely, yes. [She smiles almost apologetically. It's probably not what Edna wants to hear, but what can she do? Alisha always wants to help people.] And thank you. I pray that it does not come to that, but it's relieving to know I can count on you for the truth.
[Since... Yeah if it was up to Sorey, he'd probably be completely blind before he told anyone. Speaking of him though—]
I shall contact him about this as soon as possible!
Oh well. So much for being selfish, huh. [SAGS HER SHOULDERS, what an unpredictable twist this turned out to be.] And for a second there, you almost really made it sound like you were asking for something just for yourself.
[...]
Contrary to popular belief though, selflessness CAN be dangerous, too. Have you heard of the Forton sisters, by the way? Cardinal Forton used to be the head honcho at Pendrago for a while, after the Pope went missing in Rolance. You may or may not have heard from Sergei or a different source.
[She can't tell if Edna thinks it'd be good or not to want something for herself............]
Perhaps one of these days you'll see my selfishness yet. [Though lbr here, the likelihood of that is pretty close to nil.]
I do remember the name Cardinal Forton, yes, and the neverending reign her rise in position seemed to bring. [And how Sorey and co. apparently stopped all that, but details!] The Forton sisters though... I can't recall the name, but I do believe Sergei mentioned an incident regarding sisters who once served in their church.
Yep. Turns out the Cardinal used to be very kind and devoted, but thanks to the pressure that the Pope's disappearance has brought, she ended up convincing herself that fear was the most effective element to instill in order to unite and protect the people. She denied her corruption and being a hellion, rambling on about her country, the people, her duty, and her responsibility, up until the very end.
[Folding her umbrella, she brings it down in front of her like a cane.]
Her two sisters lived through similar stories. Wanna hear about what happened to those nuns?
[She'd heard the rumors of the Scattered Bones assassinating Cardinal Forton, but whether that was true or not, she could see why the woman would even have to face an end like that. In a way, she could also see how someone could think of fear as a tool to unite people. Even in Ladylake, it was obvious how fear of the war was bringing people together.]
I have a feeling I would rather not... [depressing shit, man] But it also seems important that I know. Please, tell me.
The Cardinal was the youngest of the three. The eldest sister was noted to be cheerful and pleasant, but became excommunicated to a village in Zaphgott Moor after it was discovered that she bore a Father's illegitimate child. The middle sister was hailed as a Saint for her generosity and compassion, and led an attempt to found a village in the Plitzerback Wetlands.
[She pauses.]
Our travels brought us to both these villages - or well, what's left of them. A Medusa-type hellion roamed in each, bemoaning about personal sacrifice and betrayal by men. They were successfully purified in the end, at least, but we had to get through the hassle of chasing them down in their hometown, another ruined village in Glaivend Basin.
[She leans on her umbrella, and tilts her head a bit back at Alisha.]
Medusa-type hellion tend to be women with a strong sense of justice and righteousness, by the way. Sounds familiar?
Yes, you make your point very clear... [SHE GETS IT OKAY, Alisha might be gullible sometimes, but she's not that dense!!
It's hard not to see the tragedy in it, how each of the Forton sisters began with their own good intentions and noble ideals. She wants to ask Sergei about the surviving sisters the next time she gets the chance to. And of course, it's all too easy to see how she can relate to them.]
You humans can be pretty dense, so I may as well be as redundant as possible. I guess you can get something of a pass though, given how dreary your circumstances are. Your state of being won't just affect your friends and the Great Shepherd, savior of a world-threatening calamity. It'll also affect the future of two whole nations.
[It's a bit of a depressing reminder—how her life will never just be her own. That's something she's long since made her peace with and has accepted, but it'll always be heavy regardless. Even if she'd never be so presumptuous to really call out her importance, she recognizes that she really is going to be a key figure in bring both Hyland and Rolance to peace. She can't afford to mess up, not when that could affect the citizens of two entire countries.
What a pleasant, sobering thought.....]
What would you say was the sisters' error then? What was it that made them cross the line from facing tremendous pressure to becoming hellions?
I'm serious, you know. They're humans, but they try so hard to be more, whether it's by their own volition or through pressure from their peers. Humans clearly have limitations, on top of being fragile both physically and mentally, yet they never cease to make rules and set goals for themselves that clearly go beyond their natural capacity. Is it really any surprise, when they fail and get hurt so easily?
So I should remain aware of my limitations then... [At least she still manages to take a positive notion away from that!! Although honestly she knows that it really is something she needs to keep in mind. Pushing herself as hard as possible to get things done is basically second nature to her........] I shall always be human, so I should try to work within the limits of a human.
[Actually... That's exactly what Edna wanted to convey. It may be a sign that Alisha's gotten used to the quirks of the Earth Seraph too, on top of being just plain optimistic.]
Precisely. You were just mouthing off about your selfishness to me earlier, yet I don't think I've seen much of that yet, if any. As similar as Sorey may be to you in that regard, he at least gets off by nerding out about ruins, plus he's got Meebo to keep him in check too. What about you? Have you managed to develop any hobbies, especially after you've wound up here?
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Nothing, most likely. As I said, improving it was merely a personal wish of mine. Whether it changes anything or not, if it has improved even a little, I would be happy. [She's not even expecting it to be a big enough change that she could serve as Squire again, let alone anything more than that. If it's improved at all, she's already satisfied.]
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[Edna THERE'S REALLY NO NEED TO GRILL THE POOR GIRL AT MAXIMUM HEAT]
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Normally Alisha would fold like a house of cards because > TALKING TO A SERAPH, but if her time with ALASTAIR has given her anything, it's the sort of clarity that comes from distance from something. And after everything she just put up with from home, from the council verbally attacking her to knights physically attacking her to Maltran trying to kill her, that distance is something she's needed.
And it makes her realize something.]
I am fully aware that it is a personal, selfish wish of mine. I admit that this was a desire that came from my own conceit, and I would never pretend otherwise. I am also fully aware that I am human, and I always will be no matter what I do. So just this once, I wanted to do something selfish, for my own sake, like any other normal human.
Is that so wrong, to want something for myself? [She's running herself ragged for Hyland, and that's never gonna stop anytime soon, but that doesn't mean she doesn't have dreams and wishes outside of what she wants for her country. At the end of the day, Alisha's still just one person.]
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[Propping open her umbrella, she begins to idly spin it over her shoulder.]
It's just interesting and telling, that you chose to focus on your Resonance when you could've asked for anything else. There's nothing inherently selfish about one's level of Resonance, after all. Actually, if anything...
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Despite her flare of anger though, she does listen to Edna seriously. Especially after Maltran, it's always on her mind, how people can fall so easily. The last thing she wants is to cause a problem like that for the others.]
If anything...?
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[She tilts her head, watching Alisha intently despite her usual nonchalant airs.]
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You— You really think I could? Reactivate the pact? Has it strengthened that much? [Maybe she's jumping to conclusions, but Edna wouldn't suggest it if it wasn't possible, right?] I don't want to cause problems for him again though, whether that's blindness or making his vision blurry.
[Yes, this was a selfish wish of hers, but it's easy to see that she's far more delighted by the possibility of being able to help Sorey again.]
1/2
2/2
[The twirling stops.]
You're just going to be helping people with him all over again if the Pact goes through and does it well, aren't you?
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Most likely, yes. [She smiles almost apologetically. It's probably not what Edna wants to hear, but what can she do? Alisha always wants to help people.] And thank you. I pray that it does not come to that, but it's relieving to know I can count on you for the truth.
[Since... Yeah if it was up to Sorey, he'd probably be completely blind before he told anyone. Speaking of him though—]
I shall contact him about this as soon as possible!
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[...]
Contrary to popular belief though, selflessness CAN be dangerous, too. Have you heard of the Forton sisters, by the way? Cardinal Forton used to be the head honcho at Pendrago for a while, after the Pope went missing in Rolance. You may or may not have heard from Sergei or a different source.
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Perhaps one of these days you'll see my selfishness yet. [Though lbr here, the likelihood of that is pretty close to nil.]
I do remember the name Cardinal Forton, yes, and the neverending reign her rise in position seemed to bring. [And how Sorey and co. apparently stopped all that, but details!] The Forton sisters though... I can't recall the name, but I do believe Sergei mentioned an incident regarding sisters who once served in their church.
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[Folding her umbrella, she brings it down in front of her like a cane.]
Her two sisters lived through similar stories. Wanna hear about what happened to those nuns?
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[She'd heard the rumors of the Scattered Bones assassinating Cardinal Forton, but whether that was true or not, she could see why the woman would even have to face an end like that. In a way, she could also see how someone could think of fear as a tool to unite people. Even in Ladylake, it was obvious how fear of the war was bringing people together.]
I have a feeling I would rather not... [depressing shit, man] But it also seems important that I know. Please, tell me.
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[She pauses.]
Our travels brought us to both these villages - or well, what's left of them. A Medusa-type hellion roamed in each, bemoaning about personal sacrifice and betrayal by men. They were successfully purified in the end, at least, but we had to get through the hassle of chasing them down in their hometown, another ruined village in Glaivend Basin.
[She leans on her umbrella, and tilts her head a bit back at Alisha.]
Medusa-type hellion tend to be women with a strong sense of justice and righteousness, by the way. Sounds familiar?
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It's hard not to see the tragedy in it, how each of the Forton sisters began with their own good intentions and noble ideals. She wants to ask Sergei about the surviving sisters the next time she gets the chance to. And of course, it's all too easy to see how she can relate to them.]
I must take care to not face a similar fate.
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[No pressure or anything...]
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What a pleasant, sobering thought.....]
What would you say was the sisters' error then? What was it that made them cross the line from facing tremendous pressure to becoming hellions?
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[She tilts her head, seemingly in thought.]
Being human.
[Edna...]
I'm serious, you know. They're humans, but they try so hard to be more, whether it's by their own volition or through pressure from their peers. Humans clearly have limitations, on top of being fragile both physically and mentally, yet they never cease to make rules and set goals for themselves that clearly go beyond their natural capacity. Is it really any surprise, when they fail and get hurt so easily?
suddenly tags after 5000 years
pls
Precisely. You were just mouthing off about your selfishness to me earlier, yet I don't think I've seen much of that yet, if any. As similar as Sorey may be to you in that regard, he at least gets off by nerding out about ruins, plus he's got Meebo to keep him in check too. What about you? Have you managed to develop any hobbies, especially after you've wound up here?